Choices

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go to a college like Yale, Princeton, or Harvard. I bet those schools are amazing. However, I'm so undedicated to school that I only maintain a "B" average at a state school. I'm not sure if I'm trained well enough to survive Yale college standards. I was never even worried that I might not get into Southern. I kind of miss the excitement that foretells whether or not all of my hard work for four years has paid off and waiting patiently for my acceptance letter in the mail. I remember when I get my letter from Southern. Granted, I was happy, but I wasn't liberated like the eager high school students on movies or sitcoms. I was just like, "Oh, that's cool."

On top of which, I had my mind set on attending Southern when I was in the ninth grade. I never even considered looking at other colleges. I didn't even apply to other colleges. I just had that gut feeling that Southern was place I was going. It was going to be amazing, and I was going to love the freedom that entailed.

Sometimes I wish I had tried harder in high school. Frankly, the only reason I went was because of the crushes that I had. I probably wouldn't have went so much if Laura wasn't there maintaining her perfect attendance award. The only classes that I was really good in were art and english. Art... obviously. English, because of my competitive standards with my friends who were also in those classes with me. Also, I really enjoyed English. If I had been like Michelle, studying all of the time and really applying myself, I might have had a small chance to get into one of those allusive colleges.

However, when faced this gnawing feeling of failure, I remember a sermon that I once heard. Although, it applies to God, I believe that also contributes to this particular thought. Paraphrasingly:

I remember as a child I was sitting in church listening to my pastor always talk about doing the right thing. Taking the right road. Never straying from God. He consistently spoke of the road to righteousness and a faithful person has to follow the right road and be good to stay on that road. However, I couldn't help but think, "Is there only one road to righteousness? If we take another road does that necessarily mean that we won't end up on the right one to God? Because isn't God everywhere... and everything?"

So with that mind, although I feel a bit lost and unconfident in certain academic decisions that I have made, perhaps I will end up in the same place no matter where I go to college or if I don't make straight A's. I do feel confident that I will find my road. Whether I follow the right one the whole way or try six other roads that will end up there. Not only do I believe that last statement in the sermon reflects God, I think it reflects the secret of life too.

You can find some happiness everywhere and in everything. You just have to look hard enough.