Finally made myself finish reading True Colors by Karen Surtees and Nann Dunne. I kind of wish I had three days of my life back. No offense to Ms. Surtees and Ms. Dunne, but... they are no Blayne Cooper and T. Novan. Every romantic novel is going to be mediocre to me after reading the leader of all romance novels, Madam President. I refuse to go near Radclyffe's writing again. I think reading four Radclyffe novels gives me a justified reason to say, it's simply not for me. The plots are exactly the same, dialogue is so-so, and there is no reason to have explicit love scenes spread out four pages. There might as well be a label on the back of the book that says, "Make sure you have a big glass of ice water to pour over your head while reading."
I'm probably going straight to hell for all this book bashing.
I will say, that Love's Melody Lost was a GREAT book. I wish I had another LML or MP to read right now. Still need to finish The Bell Jar too. There is lots of reading on the agenda. I should write my own lesbian romance book. I've had to have read at least 35 of them. That's plenty of research for my own unique version of how *bursts into song* "When a (wo)maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan loves a woman."
Yeah... I probably shouldn't write journal entries past midnight anymore.
Top 5 BEST lesbian romance books of all time, IMO:
Madam President, First Lady, The Road to Glory, Love's Melody Lost, and Cobb Island
That's my list, and I'm sticking to it! Until I read something better. I'm not really sure how this whole entry got fixated on my favorite reads, but I guess that is the wonder of the blog. To that, I shall end this entry with one of my favorite pages from Rilke's "Letters to Young Poet" :
"It is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed. It is shyness before any sort of new and unforseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope, but only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation to another as something alive."
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
To sleep, perchance to dream.
Had a fight with Amanda. I'm feeling... suckage-like about it, and I kind of just wish I could go to sleep. Sometimes I think we would get along better if we hadn't have dated. I guess we just need some space now.
So upon deciding that we need space, I decided to pop in a couple of "Buffy" episodes involving Willow & Tara taking some space from each other. I don't know why I decided to do that. Now I'm even more sad. Especially when SMG burst into tears in front of A.B. crying, "Please don't forgive me." Damn SMG for being such a good actress.
I need to start working towards my Minor in Art. After 10 Psychology classes in a row, I NEED some art/expression classes before I lose my skills.
On a happier note, I finally beat Maniac Mansion for NES. Didn't mean to kill Dave though. Ah well. He was kind of suckish character anyway. He didn't even have any skills. Bernard, however, is awesome. Killed him too... now that I think about it, but that was a complete accident. Good thing we get to play with three characters at one time. So Razor, the punk rocker chick, was the winner. She's the coolest one anyway being musically talented and so fashionable.
Oh crap, I just remembered issue #22 "Buffy" comic is coming out this Wednesday. I hope the comic book store doesn't run out before I can come back from college for the weekend. I really need to look for a comic book store in H-burg. Blah... it's focussing on Kennedy so if they sell out, whatever... Then again. I really like Satsu. Maybe Kennedy and Satsu will get together. Thereby paving the way for Tara to return to Willow. Whooooooo!
Whoa... after trying to grab the remote that fell under my bed, I found an old VHS tape of "Jumanji". I think I lost that like ten years ago. I don't think "Jumanji" got credit for being as fabulous as it was. I think Kirsten Dunst was the little girl in it, but I'm not sure. Man... I should look under my bed for class ring. That would be a good thing to find.
Yes well another time, perhaps... Off to bed for now.
___
"When we die... we go into the arms of those who remember us. We are home now. Out of our heads. Out of our minds. Out of this world. Out of this time."
So upon deciding that we need space, I decided to pop in a couple of "Buffy" episodes involving Willow & Tara taking some space from each other. I don't know why I decided to do that. Now I'm even more sad. Especially when SMG burst into tears in front of A.B. crying, "Please don't forgive me." Damn SMG for being such a good actress.
I need to start working towards my Minor in Art. After 10 Psychology classes in a row, I NEED some art/expression classes before I lose my skills.
On a happier note, I finally beat Maniac Mansion for NES. Didn't mean to kill Dave though. Ah well. He was kind of suckish character anyway. He didn't even have any skills. Bernard, however, is awesome. Killed him too... now that I think about it, but that was a complete accident. Good thing we get to play with three characters at one time. So Razor, the punk rocker chick, was the winner. She's the coolest one anyway being musically talented and so fashionable.
Oh crap, I just remembered issue #22 "Buffy" comic is coming out this Wednesday. I hope the comic book store doesn't run out before I can come back from college for the weekend. I really need to look for a comic book store in H-burg. Blah... it's focussing on Kennedy so if they sell out, whatever... Then again. I really like Satsu. Maybe Kennedy and Satsu will get together. Thereby paving the way for Tara to return to Willow. Whooooooo!
Whoa... after trying to grab the remote that fell under my bed, I found an old VHS tape of "Jumanji". I think I lost that like ten years ago. I don't think "Jumanji" got credit for being as fabulous as it was. I think Kirsten Dunst was the little girl in it, but I'm not sure. Man... I should look under my bed for class ring. That would be a good thing to find.
Yes well another time, perhaps... Off to bed for now.
___
"When we die... we go into the arms of those who remember us. We are home now. Out of our heads. Out of our minds. Out of this world. Out of this time."
Saturday, January 31, 2009
No One Mourns the Wicked
For some reason, I've had Wicked songs stuck in my head all day. Now there's a musical that I would love to see again. However, I only just saw it last May. I should have gotten Katie Rose Clarke's and Carmen Cusack's autographs. I swear that Katie Rose's intepretation of Glinda reminded me of Barbara Jean from "Reba". I can't put my finger on why...
I should read Accursed again. It was awesomely good. While I'm randomly thinking of A.B., I should also put "Chance" on the list of things to see.
Side Note: Where are all of my hair brushes?
I know I have at least seven of them from losing them... buying them... finding old ones under my driver's seat in my car. Wondering why a brush would even be under the driver's seat in my car... I bet Tripp has been grabbing them and hiding them in the backyard somewhere. I have reason to believe that doggy evidence supports this theory too. The other day I saw a trail of comb bits leading up to the doggy door. I should plant a fake brush on the edge of the counter and see what he does/where he goes. *pause*
God, I need a date... I should go to a gay club or something. Except the fact that I loathe clubs and wouldn't want to meet my future love in a place like that. I should go to the school's library and hang out around the lesbian fiction. Hmm... however, when I did that at "Border's Books" some really scary looking girl with a mohawk and a chain leading from her eyebrow to her nose starred at me for like an hour. Why do girls have a mohawks and pierced faces in 2009? Didn't that fad end in the 80's? Plus she looked about 16 or 17, and I don't want a piece of that cradle robbing moment.
I need to go study anyway. Psychology tests galore next week. I swear I've spent more time in the Psych building than my actual dorm room in the past year. Off I go.
I should read Accursed again. It was awesomely good. While I'm randomly thinking of A.B., I should also put "Chance" on the list of things to see.
Side Note: Where are all of my hair brushes?
I know I have at least seven of them from losing them... buying them... finding old ones under my driver's seat in my car. Wondering why a brush would even be under the driver's seat in my car... I bet Tripp has been grabbing them and hiding them in the backyard somewhere. I have reason to believe that doggy evidence supports this theory too. The other day I saw a trail of comb bits leading up to the doggy door. I should plant a fake brush on the edge of the counter and see what he does/where he goes. *pause*
God, I need a date... I should go to a gay club or something. Except the fact that I loathe clubs and wouldn't want to meet my future love in a place like that. I should go to the school's library and hang out around the lesbian fiction. Hmm... however, when I did that at "Border's Books" some really scary looking girl with a mohawk and a chain leading from her eyebrow to her nose starred at me for like an hour. Why do girls have a mohawks and pierced faces in 2009? Didn't that fad end in the 80's? Plus she looked about 16 or 17, and I don't want a piece of that cradle robbing moment.
I need to go study anyway. Psychology tests galore next week. I swear I've spent more time in the Psych building than my actual dorm room in the past year. Off I go.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Amber Benson in Manhattan (Feb. 6-9)
Quick Note:
Why must I live so far awaaaaaaay? After a disappointing mapquest moment, it would be a twenty hour drive from here to Haddyn. I swear... one day I am going to get her autograph. Even if I did have the money to drive all of that way, I would not get back in time for classes on Monday. Pssssht... who needs to go to class anyway?
Why must I live so far awaaaaaaay? After a disappointing mapquest moment, it would be a twenty hour drive from here to Haddyn. I swear... one day I am going to get her autograph. Even if I did have the money to drive all of that way, I would not get back in time for classes on Monday. Pssssht... who needs to go to class anyway?
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Choices
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go to a college like Yale, Princeton, or Harvard. I bet those schools are amazing. However, I'm so undedicated to school that I only maintain a "B" average at a state school. I'm not sure if I'm trained well enough to survive Yale college standards. I was never even worried that I might not get into Southern. I kind of miss the excitement that foretells whether or not all of my hard work for four years has paid off and waiting patiently for my acceptance letter in the mail. I remember when I get my letter from Southern. Granted, I was happy, but I wasn't liberated like the eager high school students on movies or sitcoms. I was just like, "Oh, that's cool."
On top of which, I had my mind set on attending Southern when I was in the ninth grade. I never even considered looking at other colleges. I didn't even apply to other colleges. I just had that gut feeling that Southern was place I was going. It was going to be amazing, and I was going to love the freedom that entailed.
Sometimes I wish I had tried harder in high school. Frankly, the only reason I went was because of the crushes that I had. I probably wouldn't have went so much if Laura wasn't there maintaining her perfect attendance award. The only classes that I was really good in were art and english. Art... obviously. English, because of my competitive standards with my friends who were also in those classes with me. Also, I really enjoyed English. If I had been like Michelle, studying all of the time and really applying myself, I might have had a small chance to get into one of those allusive colleges.
However, when faced this gnawing feeling of failure, I remember a sermon that I once heard. Although, it applies to God, I believe that also contributes to this particular thought. Paraphrasingly:
I remember as a child I was sitting in church listening to my pastor always talk about doing the right thing. Taking the right road. Never straying from God. He consistently spoke of the road to righteousness and a faithful person has to follow the right road and be good to stay on that road. However, I couldn't help but think, "Is there only one road to righteousness? If we take another road does that necessarily mean that we won't end up on the right one to God? Because isn't God everywhere... and everything?"
So with that mind, although I feel a bit lost and unconfident in certain academic decisions that I have made, perhaps I will end up in the same place no matter where I go to college or if I don't make straight A's. I do feel confident that I will find my road. Whether I follow the right one the whole way or try six other roads that will end up there. Not only do I believe that last statement in the sermon reflects God, I think it reflects the secret of life too.
You can find some happiness everywhere and in everything. You just have to look hard enough.
On top of which, I had my mind set on attending Southern when I was in the ninth grade. I never even considered looking at other colleges. I didn't even apply to other colleges. I just had that gut feeling that Southern was place I was going. It was going to be amazing, and I was going to love the freedom that entailed.
Sometimes I wish I had tried harder in high school. Frankly, the only reason I went was because of the crushes that I had. I probably wouldn't have went so much if Laura wasn't there maintaining her perfect attendance award. The only classes that I was really good in were art and english. Art... obviously. English, because of my competitive standards with my friends who were also in those classes with me. Also, I really enjoyed English. If I had been like Michelle, studying all of the time and really applying myself, I might have had a small chance to get into one of those allusive colleges.
However, when faced this gnawing feeling of failure, I remember a sermon that I once heard. Although, it applies to God, I believe that also contributes to this particular thought. Paraphrasingly:
I remember as a child I was sitting in church listening to my pastor always talk about doing the right thing. Taking the right road. Never straying from God. He consistently spoke of the road to righteousness and a faithful person has to follow the right road and be good to stay on that road. However, I couldn't help but think, "Is there only one road to righteousness? If we take another road does that necessarily mean that we won't end up on the right one to God? Because isn't God everywhere... and everything?"
So with that mind, although I feel a bit lost and unconfident in certain academic decisions that I have made, perhaps I will end up in the same place no matter where I go to college or if I don't make straight A's. I do feel confident that I will find my road. Whether I follow the right one the whole way or try six other roads that will end up there. Not only do I believe that last statement in the sermon reflects God, I think it reflects the secret of life too.
You can find some happiness everywhere and in everything. You just have to look hard enough.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
It's a black & white world.
*sigh* It's official. My FC Twin console will NOT play my SNES games in color. I figured, "Hey, it's break. I have time." Then I took the entire system apart. Screws... everywhere. I messed with its internal mechanisms for two hours. It's not the A/V cords either. I was afraid to poke around too much seeing as how I didn't know what the hell I'm doing. It's like those informal pretenses when a car stops working. You pop the hood and look at the engine. It doesn't matter if you know doodle about cars. It's all about the pretense. I'm glad my Ps2 doesn't have this problem. I wouldn't have the nerve to open it up though. I need Matt's technological skills. I wish he was here sometimes.
I'm not sure he could fix it though. I think the problem derived from the manufactorers. I was actually considering buying Zelda: the Missing Link too for it in the near future. What an awesome game. I guess I could just suck it up and play in black and white, but I'm spoiled. I need technicolor. Plus the game itself is hard to play when everything is in off shades of gray. It's hard to see enemies in Mario, Zelda would be extremely difficult under those circumstances.
On a different note, I'm totally digging the band Four Star Mary. They have such an awesome alternative sound. They remind me of Something Corporate mixed with Trapt. Maybe one day I'll get their album Thrown to the Wolves.
Man, I'm sleepy. I'm out.
I'm not sure he could fix it though. I think the problem derived from the manufactorers. I was actually considering buying Zelda: the Missing Link too for it in the near future. What an awesome game. I guess I could just suck it up and play in black and white, but I'm spoiled. I need technicolor. Plus the game itself is hard to play when everything is in off shades of gray. It's hard to see enemies in Mario, Zelda would be extremely difficult under those circumstances.
On a different note, I'm totally digging the band Four Star Mary. They have such an awesome alternative sound. They remind me of Something Corporate mixed with Trapt. Maybe one day I'll get their album Thrown to the Wolves.
Man, I'm sleepy. I'm out.
Experimetrix Love
So I have decided that Experimetrix extra credit is going to be my savior this semester. With any luck it will keep me from having to take my Statistics class again. I feel like my grades have taken a beating this semester.
However, on something completely non-school related, I'm going with Heather to get a tattoo on her back this week. She wants to get a dusty pink rose right on her spine. I told her that Amanda said that getting a tat. right on your spine area is painful, but that's where she wants it. In any case, I'm sure a rose tattoo will look good on her.
Midnight did the cutest thing yesterday. She jumped on the kitchen table and started stretching her claws on mom's straw placemats. She was all, "Mew Mew... Ahhh Mew" and Mom was all, "Dear God NOOOOOOO!" It was a good moment.
I am DETERMINED to continue my reading. I haven't read for enjoyment in forever. Every second of my spare time has been spent obsessing over my grades, extra credit, reading required material, and a lot more unfun stuff. I still want to finish "The Bell Jar". I've lost a little interest in "True Colours" by Karen Surtees and Nann Dunne. The writing style just isn't as good as "Madam President". I'm spoiled by Blayne Cooper and T. Novan. Now everything I read is kind of rubbish. I'm trying though. The book really isn't that bad. It combines some of my favorite things in a star-crossed romance story. There's the character that's trying to overcome impossible odds and the other one who's trying to find herself. Also, the plot includes a ranch. I don't know why, but I love reading about ranches and horse-riding.
That's kind of strange now that I think about it because I don't think I have ever been to a ranch and my only recollection of riding a horse was when I was like six. It might have been a pony. I certainly see the beauty of owning a lot of land and having a ranch though. That's probably one of the reasons why I watch "Desert Hearts" so much. I don't really relate to the characters, but there's something about the setting and plot that I find absolutely beautiful.
I want to visit and stay at a ranch some day. I should make a plan to visit the ole West in the future.
However, on something completely non-school related, I'm going with Heather to get a tattoo on her back this week. She wants to get a dusty pink rose right on her spine. I told her that Amanda said that getting a tat. right on your spine area is painful, but that's where she wants it. In any case, I'm sure a rose tattoo will look good on her.
Midnight did the cutest thing yesterday. She jumped on the kitchen table and started stretching her claws on mom's straw placemats. She was all, "Mew Mew... Ahhh Mew" and Mom was all, "Dear God NOOOOOOO!" It was a good moment.
I am DETERMINED to continue my reading. I haven't read for enjoyment in forever. Every second of my spare time has been spent obsessing over my grades, extra credit, reading required material, and a lot more unfun stuff. I still want to finish "The Bell Jar". I've lost a little interest in "True Colours" by Karen Surtees and Nann Dunne. The writing style just isn't as good as "Madam President". I'm spoiled by Blayne Cooper and T. Novan. Now everything I read is kind of rubbish. I'm trying though. The book really isn't that bad. It combines some of my favorite things in a star-crossed romance story. There's the character that's trying to overcome impossible odds and the other one who's trying to find herself. Also, the plot includes a ranch. I don't know why, but I love reading about ranches and horse-riding.
That's kind of strange now that I think about it because I don't think I have ever been to a ranch and my only recollection of riding a horse was when I was like six. It might have been a pony. I certainly see the beauty of owning a lot of land and having a ranch though. That's probably one of the reasons why I watch "Desert Hearts" so much. I don't really relate to the characters, but there's something about the setting and plot that I find absolutely beautiful.
I want to visit and stay at a ranch some day. I should make a plan to visit the ole West in the future.
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